[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Childish Gambino “Otis” Freestyle on 98.8 KISS FM in Berlin.
Jay-Z and Kanye West summon a demon
Jay-Z and Kanye West had spent their entire careers preparing for this night. Jay-Z could still remember that evening so many years ago when they first approached him. His career taking off and his bank account overflowing, they asked him if he wanted to be a part of something even bigger. Since his initiation into the ranks of the Illuminati he’d climbed and fought his way through the organization, showing his loyalty by covering his music and public image in layers of complex and arcane symbols, allowing subversive, hypnotic messages to be planted in his songs, and recruiting members of hip-hop and pop music’s upper echelons into the secret society. None of his proteges had risen to the heights of Kanye West, and none had been so fiercely loyal to the Illuminati cause. Together they had built a cultural empire and had laid all the pieces for the final strike. On this night, they would put into action the years they spent studying the works of Aleister Crowley, the hours spent pouring over ancient texts. On this night they would summon the great Baphomet into the Earthly realm. On this night, they would gain the terrible power needed to rise to the highest throne and finally reveal themselves and their plan to the world. Soon, all would worship at their feet and do their bidding. They would dictate the new world order and build a new society, free from morality, religion and virtue, where the strong rule and the meek die.
“Tonight,” Jay-Z said. “Is the beginning of a new age.”
They lit the candles, donned their black robes and sat hunched grimly over the small table.
“Are you prepared, Kanye?”
“Yes. I am.”
Jay-Z and Kanye West reached out and slowly placed the trembling tips of their fingers upon the planchette.
“Baphomet,” Kanye called out. “Are you in the room with us now?”
They waited, and it seemed as if nothing was happening. But then, gradually, the planchette began to move across the board, sliding towards the corner.
It pointed to ‘YES’.
Jay-Z and Kanye West glanced up at each other nervously.
“Baphomet,” Jay-Z called out. “What do you want?”
The planchette was still for a full minute before it began moving again, downward. It pointed first to the letter ‘K’. Then to ‘I’. Then to ‘L’.
“Are you moving your fingers?” Kanye asked Jay anxiously.
“No!” Jay-Z said.
The planchette pointed to ‘L’ once more.
“C’mon, don’t mess with me!” Kanye shouted.
“I’m not moving my fingers!” Jay-Z yelled, terrified.
The planchette slid across the board and pointed at the letter ‘U’. Kanye West and Jay-Z jumped up from the table, shouting and throwing the planchette across the room.
“This is stupid, I don’t wanna do this!” Kanye said, trying to hide his fear.
“Yeah, let’s go back upstairs.”
Jay-Z picked up the planchette, folded the Ouija board and placed them both back in the box. He stuffed the box back into the closet in his mom’s basement and he and Kanye headed back upstairs, ready to forget about the whole thing and continue their slumber party.
